Posted by: L.M. | June 11, 2007

Pretty Privilege

So some brilliance from shannon, amananta and twisty (be sure to read the comments, too) has inspired me to aggregate some thoughts I’ve had regarding the ongoing beauty wars of the feminist blogosphere.

Most feminists worth their salt understand the male privilege, that under patriarchy, men have certain rights and entitlements that women do not have. But I think that there is such a thing as female privilege, or “pretty privilege”, if you will. Don’t get me wrong - I don’t deny that pretty women suffer under patriarchy, that they are just as likely to be victims of rape or domestic violence, or be paid badly or not have access to contraceptives/abortion.

Patriarchy oppresses women, especially in the modern West, by holding women to a beauty standard and doling out value according to how well they fit the beauty standard.

Pretty women are not devalued under this system and may even reap some benefits for their good looks. That’s why I think that pretty women* often express indifference or even hostility towards radical feminist criticism of beauty culture as misogynist or hell even as a little sexist or see beauty culture as something to be celebrated or even as empowering. They can’t see through their pretty privilege.

Pretty privilege means that you don’t see your body parts labeled “ugly” or “disordered”. Pretty privilege means that you don’t have people berating you for your body (i.e. go on a diet fatty). Pretty privilege means that the images labeled beautiful may be pretty damn close to what you yourself look like. Pretty privilege means that you’ve got a good chance of success at being a (patriarchally defined) woman. Pretty privilege means that you don’t live in a world that hates your body.

Women who don’t have pretty privilege or who can see through that BS don’t see beauty culture as a fun way to improve your looks/decorate yourself/express your femininity. We see beauty culture as another system of oppression the patriarchy places on women.

*by pretty, I don’t mean “Victoria’s Secret model clone”, I mean any woman who meets basic standards of conventional attractiveness, and is, at the very least, not ugly.

**and I’ll fess up about my own experiences with beauty culture seeing as the personal is political and all that: I’ve been pretty and I’ve been ugly. Both experiences sucked in their own way which is why I’m done with the rat race and I’m sick of playing the game. More on this later, I swear.

Posted in Beauty, Feminism

« Blogging begins here (sort of)
Clarifications about pretty privilege »

Responses

I think the idea that you could be pretty and reap the rewards if only you made one little change keeps folks on the treadmill. To not be pretty it seems is to be a nonperson to folks who are listening to the patriarchy.

By: shannon on June 11, 2007
at 11:52 pm

shannon-
I don’t know if you’ve read “The Beauty Myth” but Naomi Wolf takes the amount of money that women spend on beauty culture and crunches numbers to figure out how much other stuff we could buy with it (serious stuff, like women’s shelters and scholarships, or fluffy stuff, like champagne and vacations). I seem to remember that you did something similar during the “reverse classist” dust-up, about all the fun non-makeup related things women can do.
I’m starting to think that privilege isn’t always a cupcake on your plate, but it’s an invisible shield from crap getting flung at you.

By: littoralmermaid on June 12, 2007
at 12:42 am

I don’t understand why this is controversial. Two guys go into a job interview, unless it’s male modelling who gets the job isn’t going to hinge on who looks better. But with two women, there’s a very good chance it will, even though the job has nothing to do with that. Men are allowed to be ugly, how they look just isn’t part of the criteria for acceptance for a whole range of non-realted activities in the way that it is for women. It always matters in a way that it just doesn’t for any man.

By: Xaoez on June 12, 2007
at 1:28 am

Xaoez-
“I don’t understand why this is controversial.”
Neither do I. But judging from some of the stuff I see on the feminist blogs wrt “oh no the ugly fat second waver hags are going to take away our lingerie and lipstick! head for the hills!” seems to indicate that even among feminists, it is.

By: littoralmermaid on June 12, 2007
at 1:37 am

LOL Yeah, I know.
“You need to be hairy and wear birkenstocks to be accepted in feminism–I feel judged! I am oppressed!”

By: Xaoez on June 12, 2007
at 2:31 am

“I’m starting to think that privilege isn’t always a cupcake on your plate, but it’s an invisible shield from crap getting flung at you.”

I definitely think this is the case with “pretty” privilege. I wasn’t sure it was real, because pretty women don’t rule the world, we’re just exposed to images of them all the time, but when you say this it reminds me of why I used to do the make-up, hair and clothes thing - it was to be acceptable and to escape criticism, and I remember actually thinking that. Although for women being pretty only avoids a certain type of crap being thrown at you, it’s not like men respect pretty women any more than their plainer counterparts. To be viewed as either “fuckable” or “unfuckable” is to be degraded whichever category a woman fits in to.

By: delphyne on June 12, 2007
at 12:36 pm

I find “pretty privilege” a very necessary point and I’m glad you bring it up littoral.
Its connections to the pro-porn/BDSM/liberal-sex-kitten crowd is one of monetary and self-serving (=patriarchy-serving) purposes and I believe it cheapens the radfem position. This is not to say those with genetic predispositions to the patriarchal standard are anti-radfem or inherently evil. However, if while upholding one’s “pretty privilege” it is linked to feminism, then patriarchy has won. They’ve made us believe we are reclaiming a standard of beauty that is unreclaimable by default–how do you reclaim your oppression?
And I have a hard time believing there are women out there who really enjoy upholding this standard. It takes more time and money, and is responsible for, perhaps, 99% of all bad self-esteem–wtf does one gain in that?

By: pisaquari on June 12, 2007
at 1:13 pm

delphyne-
Yes, I spent many years as one of the sparkle pony feminists before I saw the light. I’ve been getting into some kind of frustrating discussions at IBTP about privilege, though. I definitely don’t think that pretty women are part of the patriarchy or tools of the patriarchy. Maybe they’ve got “privilege of conformity”. And wrt privilege as invisibility of sorts, I’m able-bodied and I remember being stunned by what I *don’t* see, what I *don’t* have to face, when I’ve read about the oppression that disabled people suffer.
pisaquari -
“This is not to say those with genetic predispositions to the patriarchal standard are anti-radfem or inherently evil.”
Yes. This reminds me of discussions about any kind of privilege, like white privilege or male privilege. I do not believe that whites or men are inherently bad, but that they’re socialized to be on the oppressing end of the hierarchy.

By: littoralmermaid on June 12, 2007
at 3:25 pm

I don’t know, by “pretty privilege”, do you mean “dumb blondes”?

By: Branjor on June 12, 2007
at 6:03 pm

I’ve read the Beauty Myth, but I was like 15 at the time. I do remember that bit though. You should write about your time as a sparkle pony feminist, just because I’m nosy.

By: shannon on June 12, 2007
at 9:01 pm

I vehemently disagree with this - having know many a conventionally attractive woman.

Most of the ones I know are:
1) hit on/groped up/rubbed up against a lot
2) Cat called a lot
3) Molested by the ppl in their family a lot
4) Assumed to be way stupider than someone like me who is ‘decent looking’ but not conventionally attractive. This is the worst type of condescenscion.

i.e. if you are pretty - you must be stupid right? Most pretty women I know are always treated as if they have to be vapid/materialistic/airheads.

They are always derided and even if they say something serious, or voice their concerns - their family members treat them like they are dumb imbeciles.

Paris Hilton isn’t just hated because she is ‘not too bright and a ‘non-virgin”, she’s also hated cause she’s PRETTY. I think calling ‘pretty’ a privilege is going down a very slippery slope here.

I know what it feels like having worked in sales to have men cut me off to tell me how ‘beautiful I look’. Pretty women sadly, rarely if ever get a word in on anything. Sadly, even amongst other feminists.

I remember a woman who was actually a Miss America contestant. It was very sad - she had to continually prove herself to everyone. She didn’t win the crown, but she ended up joing the military afterwards, then she went on to become a high-powered executive. I know she hurt all the time having always to prove herself.

5) This kind of consistent undermining of (not exclusively but especially ‘hot women’ ;) really makes it hard for people to listen to them when they talk about their stories of rape. Or most of all to take them seriously when they talk about sexual harassment at work. usually it’s the pretty ones that get hit on the most - and well ‘they are always asking for it’ right?

6) A lot of women struggle and undergo a lot of pain to either ‘maintain their weight’ or to maintain their beauty. I.e. that means waxing/threading/straightening hair/eating disorders. Looking pretty is not just a one-time thing, for some of the younger women I know - it’s a damn lifestyle routine. And not a very easy one at that.

I guess I am not keen to make these kinds of ‘hot or not’ divisions within feminism.

Privilege is a strong word. But beauty as what I can tell is one of those things that hurts all women. It’s a curse for many, not a privilege. Yes, women may have some ‘advantages’ - I don’t think it is a privilege however.

We are better to target the beauty industry than we are to say ‘pretty women are privileged’. It’s not their fault.

I don’t know - this made me terribly sad for some reason.

By: aradhanad on June 12, 2007
at 9:47 pm

Aradhana D -
“1) hit on/groped up/rubbed up against a lot
2) Cat called a lot
3) Molested by the ppl in their family a lot”
Attractive women are not the only ones who are sexually harassed. In fact it is difficult for unattractive women who are sexually harassed or even assaulted to be believed.

“i.e. if you are pretty - you must be stupid right? Most pretty women I know are always treated as if they have to be vapid/materialistic/airheads.”
And yeah, I will blog about the disadvantages of being attractive at some time in the future, and I’m about to post a follow-up any second now.

“Paris Hilton isn’t just hated because she is ‘not too bright and a ‘non-virgin”, she’s also hated cause she’s PRETTY. I think calling ‘pretty’ a privilege is going down a very slippery slope here.”
I don’t think Paris Hilton is hated because she’s pretty - I think the other feminist bloggers who’ve written about it (like feministe and ginmar) are correct - that she’s hated because she’s “slutty”, because she made her debut as a celebrity with a sex tape (never mind the guy in it and that he was the one who publicized it … ;) I think she is also hated because she’s a rich heiress.
Is someone who isn’t perceived as slutty but who is pretty, like, say, Reese Witherspoon or Jessica Alba, hated because she is pretty?

“This kind of consistent undermining of (not exclusively but especially ‘hot women’) really makes it hard for people to listen to them when they talk about their stories of rape. Or most of all to take them seriously when they talk about sexual harassment at work. usually it’s the pretty ones that get hit on the most - and well ‘they are always asking for it’ right?”
And as for attractive women not being believed about rape, unattractive women are not believed either because “who would ever want to rape them?” or “they would be grateful if anyone has sex with them”. In fact, in Leora Tanenbaum’s book, “Slut!: Growing Up Female With a Bad Reputation,” she cites as an example of a “bad victim” an unattractive girl who was raped by a popular athlete.

“Privilege is a strong word. But beauty as what I can tell is one of those things that hurts all women. It’s a curse for many, not a privilege. Yes, women may have some ‘advantages’ - I don’t think it is a privilege however.”
True, I’m 20, so I haven’t yet seen the inevitable effects of age on pretty women.

“We are better to target the beauty industry than we are to say ‘pretty women are privileged’. It’s not their fault.”
I hate racism (and I’m nonwhite). But I also think that minorities who have, say, less ethnic looking features are more privileged than those that do not. It’s not their fault. They do not have white privilege. But that doesn’t mean I won’t admit that the hierarchy exists.

By: littoralmermaid on June 12, 2007
at 10:37 pm

It’s one of those communist choices. If some dude thinks you’re hot, they think you must be asking for anything. But if you’re not hot, even most of feminism has you off the radar. The idea of a plain woman seems anathema. I’m priv’d by being thin, though. I’m just really plain!

By: shannon on June 12, 2007
at 10:37 pm

shannon - “You should write about your time as a sparkle pony feminist, just because I’m nosy.”
This is the short version: age 12 (”I’m not a feminist, I’m an equalist!”), age 17 (”I’m a feminist, but I don’t hate men and I wear makeup and I …”), age 20 (I’m here, I’m a woman and I’m not required to be a sexbot!” *knowing winks*)
Ah, I won’t be facetious and I’ll put it on my list of topics to blog about.
If you filled out my radfem demographic survey (hint, hint) you could tell me how you found your way to the hivevagina. I honestly would be surprised though, if a lot of radical feminists went straight from patriarchy to radical feminism. I’m willing to bet a lot of us are ex-sparkle ponies.

Aradhana D-
And also do attractive men have those problems, or at least on such a level as attractive women? In some ways I think it’s more about gender than about the state of being attractive.
At the top of my post I clearly stated that pretty women suffer under patriarchy.

By: littoralmermaid on June 12, 2007
at 10:56 pm

Oh yea, and #6 is pretty much a woman thing not so much a pretty thing. Man, you went fast! I’m a lazy lazy person, lit lit.

By: shannon on June 12, 2007
at 11:21 pm

[...] Clarifications about pretty privilege I’ll start with some clarifications about the previous post. [...]

By: Clarifications about pretty privilege « Littoral Mermaid on June 13, 2007
at 12:13 am

aradhana, all of the disadvantages you mentioned are experiences by the ugly and nonfeminine as well as they pretty. They’re groped, screamed at by people in cars, and raped, often as punishment for not looking the way they’re “supposed” to look.

People do think pretty woman are stupid. Go ask the fat valedictorians if people just assume that they smart, or if they’re assumed to be slow, lazy, and have about the average intelligence level of a slug. Ask if guys in a professional setting tend to assume that more conventionally turned out women are smarter just because of how they’re dressed or how done up they are. Pretty women are not considered as intelligent as men, sure, but they are considered more intelligent than women who really don’t meet conventional beauty standards.

All the disadvantages you say come from being “pretty” actually come from being female. Ugly women are subject to all of them, but while there are rewards to beauty, I cant think of very many cultural rewards showered on the ugly or fat. Yeah, most women go through painful, difficult and time consuming beauty routines–could that have something to do with the fact that no matter how hard, painful, time consuming it is, it’s worth it, and the alternative is a hell of a lot harder and it’s going to affect someone’s life in a much more negative way?

By: Xaoez on June 13, 2007
at 2:27 am

“I know what it feels like having worked in sales to have men cut me off to tell me how ‘beautiful I look’. Pretty women sadly, rarely if ever get a word in on anything. Sadly, even amongst other feminists.”

Sorry for the second post, but This is the exact type of thing I’m talking about. Look, I’m not the world’s ugliest person, and I do have thin privilege. And I’m not going to tell anyone it doesn’t suck to have someone condescend to you because you’re too beautiful, or to be the Miss America contestent who doesn’t get taken seriously on her way to a fabulous career as a top executive. I just think it probably hurts a little bit more to be like my best friend, the smartest person in school, who doesn’t really have the opportnity to feel bad because she can’t get a word in on anything, even though she can’t, because that’s a good day. Being ignored and treated like she doesn’t exist and doesn’t matter is the best she can hope for, because that’s when she doesn’t have scary groups of frat guys cornering her in a dark hallway, mooing and screaming dog and saying nasty sexual shit and groping. And, you know, she probably has got to wonder where’s this feminism where she gets listened to and treated like a human being at the cruel expense of all these pretty women who she’s oppressing and silencing (part of the guerilla army to take away lipsticks and heels!) Maybe I’m reading the wrong things, because i wonder too. You can’t read a feminist blog without seeing 100 women complaining about how their beauty marginalizes them in feminism. Weirdly, though, I don’t see a whole lot of testimony from ugly women, just a few asides in the never ending discussion of how difficult it is to be pretty in feminism about how difficult it is to be marginalized if anyone ever suggests that maybe a change of topic is in order.

It’s just like, yeah, being pretty isn’t a bed of roses, because you’re still a woman, but everyone understands and sympathizes with your struggles on some level. But being ugly and a woman has got to be like hell on earth, and you’re not even allowed to speak, because you’re not supposed to exist. If you speak up, you’re drawing attenion to yourself, and that’s bad because it will send young woman fleeing away from feminism because it’s not hip and hot to be ugly. If you speak up, then you’re taking attention off the complaints of the pretty, and that’s really upsetting to them. If you speak up, then just ewww. It’s just not going to end well, it’s not acceptable.

By: Xaoez on June 13, 2007
at 3:07 am

Look, I never said those things were not happening to ‘unattractive women’ too - that’s a straw feminist by far. I wrote those to say that this is what happens to pretty women too (because it seemed to me that the fact that pretty women do experience these things makes them equally oppressed, and sometimes in certain cases more so) - and by using a word like ‘privileged’ is kinda IMO not the best thing to do - because well, being pretty can be oppressive.

Saying paris hilton is hated because she is ’slutty’ is stating the obvious. hence I wrote the word ‘non-virgin’ I usually don’t use the word ’slutty’ (but in this case I should have made it clear).

But if you examine how often in politics (i.e. women who have ‘power’ in a male dominated field) prettier women are far more scrutinized about their activities then lets say ‘lesser attractive’ women (case in point Belinda Stronach and Michel-Jean in Canada). So I disagree with you when you say women aren’t hated for being beautiful. They are - and yes, it depends on the context, often depending on how much power they have as well, and how many toes they seem to be stepping on.

I think you are conflating the word “PRIVILEGE” with “SOCIAL ADVANTAGES”. I have briefly talked with Amy (feminist reprise) how I do disagree with her about her usage of ‘thin privilege’ and I say this as a larger woman and as a not so ‘hot’ woman too.

There is a huge difference in the two, especially considering that ‘pretty’ is specific to ____ culture. It is not ‘globally normative’ (it is becoming so) but it changes, it fluctuates. I.e. so this advantage of being ‘pretty’ would have to be defined more, it is not something that would be the same everywhere. I.e. some cultures where being larger is beautiful, being short, having a straight back etc… (slowly of course these things are being erased and a white version of beauty is taking hold).

Anyways, at the end of the day - I don’t know what kind of benefit you using the word ‘privilege’ would have here. Especially if we were to define this said ‘privilege’ - how does one absolve onself of it. Is a pretty woman supposed to be more ‘cautious’ of the way she walks/dresses/applies make-up because she is more ‘privileged’?

This is the thing about privilege - When you set this scenario up, you also expect the person who has established these rules of the game, to also absolve the same rules by acknowledging their privilege. If pretty women had set up this standard by themselves I could call it a privilege. But that’s not the case.

I expect white people to acknowledge their privilege and act accordingly, they set up the standards - they must reconcile and acknowledge the damage. I also expect men to acknowledge their privilege and act accordingly, likewise they set up the standard, they need to acknowledge it. I expect straight people to do the same - and allow ‘queer’ communities the same rights and freedoms, again the world by and large is heternormative. Likewise I expect able-bodied and class-privileged people to do the same…. they are the ruling class.

Is a non-universally attractive woman supposed to say “I will wear less make-up in order to allow my ‘lesser’ sisters freedom? I will eat ten gallons of ice-cream because I am too thin? Because my sisters are uglier than me - I will let them date the hotter guys in the school.”

Na - uh, being attractive is a social advantage (jobs/career advancements/pay increases/social networking/ social capital etc…). But women did not set up this ‘privilege’, they can’t absolve themselves of it either.

Words matter, and privilege is up there as a loaded one. Especially when it’s not women who set up the rules of the game to absolve themselves of said ‘privilege’.

Thanks for your second post, it cleared a lot up. But I agree to vehemently disagree on this one.

By: aradhanad on June 13, 2007
at 4:47 am

I can’t think of a word that would adequately describe what I am thinking, I realize ‘absolve’ sounds very awkward.

I do hope what I am saying is a bit clearer. Maybe I should use the word ‘take responsibility’ instead absolve - because that is definitely not the word I would have liked to use in hindsight.

By: aradhanad on June 13, 2007
at 4:51 am

Xaoez - Wow :)
And you’re welcome to double post, triple post, etc. anytime. I’m so thrilled to host your comments at my blog - they’re amazing and I just wanted to add a few things.

“Go ask the fat valedictorians if people just assume that they smart, or if they’re assumed to be slow, lazy, and have about the average intelligence level of a slug.”
I read at a feminist blog a long time ago that probably the women who benefit from being perceived as smart are thin, brunette, attractive and with short hair - they look sort of “masculine” but they’re not ugly. Pretty women who are say, blonde, busty and ultra feminine are perceived as stupid sluts, and unattractive women especially if they are fat, as you said having “the average intelligence level of a slug.”

“Being ignored and treated like she doesn’t exist and doesn’t matter is the best she can hope for, because that’s when she doesn’t have scary groups of frat guys cornering her in a dark hallway, mooing and screaming dog and saying nasty sexual shit and groping.”
At my middle school there was one girl who was extremely overweight and yeah, she was at one point chased outside by the popular guys and surrounded. I would have assumed people would … er … grow up between middle school and high school/college (not sure where you’re at) but hey, IBTP.

“she probably has got to wonder where’s this feminism where she gets listened to and treated like a human being at the cruel expense of all these pretty women who she’s oppressing and silencing”
She can come to my blog any time.

“part of the guerilla army to take away lipsticks and heels!”
Reporting for duty, are you? ;)

“Weirdly, though, I don’t see a whole lot of testimony from ugly women”
More common at the radical feminist blogs than at the liberal/sex positive ones. I think I’ve seen posts about this from Amananta, Twisty and Amy at feminist reprise, off the top of my head.

By: littoralmermaid on June 13, 2007
at 5:29 am

Aradhana D-
“because it seemed to me that the fact that pretty women do experience these things makes them equally oppressed, and sometimes in certain cases more so”
I said at the beginning of the post that pretty women are subjected to sexual violence because of patriarchy. And yeah, women who are perceived as sexually attractive (like the stripper in the Duke case) are often seen as “asking for it”. But ugly women are often not believed either, because they are too ugly for a man to have sex with.

“But if you examine how often in politics (i.e. women who have ‘power’ in a male dominated field) prettier women are far more scrutinized about their activities then lets say ‘lesser attractive’ women”
I’m not familiar with Canadian politics, but in the US, but the press has been extremely cruel about Hillary Clinton’s looks and goes on about her “fat ankles” and “big hips” as if that disqualifies her from being a presidential candidate. And of course there are lots of unattractive men running as Democrats and Republicans and that’s just fine, but if they’re attractive, like with Barack Obama or Mitt Romney, that’s icing on the cake. (With John Edwards, he’s perceived as too boyish, which isn’t considered as attractive for men, and certainly not for presidential candidates.)

“There is a huge difference in the two, especially considering that ‘pretty’ is specific to ____ culture. It is not ‘globally normative’ (it is becoming so) but it changes, it fluctuates.”
I don’t deny that. I have thin privilege in the 21st century US but I would have probably been considered a nasty looking bag of bones in another era. But that doesn’t change the fact that I have thin privilege now.

“Is a non-universally attractive woman supposed to say ‘I will wear less make-up in order to allow my ‘lesser’ sisters freedom? I will eat ten gallons of ice-cream because I am too thin? Because my sisters are uglier than me - I will let them date the hotter guys in the school.’”
No, and I don’t think any feminist has ever suggested that beauty or beautiful women should be eliminated. In fact the whole thing that precipitated this series on pretty privilege was my frustration with pretty feminists who belittle the idea of beauty culture as misogyny (see Xaoez’ comment above) because they are not as negatively affected as ugly women by beauty culture.

By: littoralmermaid on June 13, 2007
at 5:38 am

I tend to think that social advantage and privilege are the same thing. But to absolve one self, well, let’s say a bunch of fat women are talking about how they get treated like crap. Don’t jump in, yell that they are unhealthy, and complain about how someone once called me anorexic, and on and on. Because really, do they want to hear that? Is that helpful at all?

Also don’t act like being ugly is the worst thing ever. Being a bad person is the worst thing ever. Being ugly? There’s no need to always defend yourself from being called ugly as if they called you the archtiet of the war in Iraq or something.

By: shannon on June 13, 2007
at 12:52 pm

Aw, thanks lm. :) Your blog is rockin, your analysis is great.

Yeah, I’m in high school, we don’t have actual “frat boys” but I don’t know what else to call them, archetypes I guess. :)

I’m still baffled that this is controversial. Maybe as WOC we’re more used to the fact that there are hierarchies within hierarchies, or something? Like what you said in your fllow up post. I think the word “privileged” brings up people’s defenses unnecessarily, and it’s hard to understand why. Just because you have some degree of privilege in relatioon to someone else, doesn’t mean you’re not still part of an oppressed or marginalized group. It doesn’t mean you actively brought the privilege on yourself, and it doesn’t mean your life is absolutely perfect and every moment you’re showered with roses and daisies. None of those things are true. It’s like when some random guy argues that because he isn’t Donald Trump, how can he have male privilege.

As far as Paris Hilton goes, two words, Britney Spears. The minute she got pregnant, then pregnant again, and had the nerve to walk around with her belly hanging over her belt and her hair undone, she became “disgusting” a “mess” “needs to pull herself together.” She was fine when she was pretty, but as soon as she wasn’t presenting the approved image to the world, well hell, she shaved off her beautiful blond locks, drag her to the hospital, she’s clearly insane if she’s rejecting the traditional feminine trappings. Paris Hilton is a drunk driving racist, and it’s pretty close who gets the worst press.

LIke lm says, here in the US it’s not the case that that the more attractive are subjext to worse treatment that the less attractive, if anything no woman is ever considered beautiful enough, but it’s kind if a moot point *because the actually ugly or nonconformist are about 9 billion times less likely to get to be successful politicians in the first place.* (when we’re talking about women) That’s kind of the point. Appearance matters, and because ugly women are so reviled at worst and invisible at best, they just don’t have the same opportunities as ugly men or more conventionally attractive women. So yes, it’s horrible what successful women go through, we all agree on that. but the flip side is that it’s equally horrible that so many women will never have the chance to get there simply because of how they look.

Nobody’s saying the way society works is the fault of pretty women, or that they have to start chugging ice cream by the gallon or “let” their uglier counterparts have the hot guys to make them feel better. Just that maybe for once we can have a little bit of equal time for somebody else’s problems, a little sensitivity to their situation, a little more self awareness, and not act like they need to shut their jealous mouths and go away so we can talk about the things that matter, or go to the gym, or something. Pretty women don’t have to absolve themselves of anything except the tendency to be sort of rude and to dismiss, erase and mischaracterize the experiences of anyone who isn’t them.

By: Xaoez on June 14, 2007
at 3:00 am

Xaoez - there was a joke at IBTP a while ago that frats are good because they concentrate all the “boorish males” in one place so they can be avoided. They also tend to advertise their frats on their sweatshirts so you’re forewarned ;)

Wrt privilege, I think we’d all rather think of ourselves as David rather than Goliath. We’d all like to think that we determine our own fate. I think bad things in life don’t always stem from *being* in an oppressed group. You could be a rich white straight guy and have your house burn down in a fire or something like that. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have class, race, gender, etc. privilege.

Britney Spears: There’s also the “stupid slut” angle going on, because she was pregnant, had the Vegas marriage, “flashed” her vulva and went out partying and drinking a lot. I think that beforehand (like in the “Baby One More Time” era) she did fulfill our effed up idea of femininity, being sexy in a way that was hawt for the menz, but not sexual.

By: littoralmermaid on June 14, 2007
at 6:03 am

[...] 17, 2008 · Filed under Everyday Wisdom, Feminism Here’s a concept that’s so obvious I needed to hear it from someone else. As a feminist in constant training, I am aware of the most common types of privilege, even the [...]

By: Pretty Privileged « Beyond Feminism on April 17, 2008
at 6:26 pm

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